I had a good time, but I'm honestly not sure if the converse is true.

Do we make up our minds about people too quickly? Some people size others up very quickly and accurately, but is this a fair assessment? I prefer not to write their story for them too quickly; people are always more complicated than they seem. Gullibility aside, I'd like to be able to give people the benefit of the doubt, and willing to accept improvement and change in their lives - isn't this what we want for our friends - to grow, to change, to improve? Or do we simply throw them into little jars with neat little labels?

People's perceptions of me often help me along in life, and this is a very good thing, but it also limits one's growth... If someone is fat and they join a gym to exercise, you don't tell them that it's useless. It is a change for the better, and you should encourage them. (This is a fictional analogy.) It is ten times worse when the perception is fallacious, inaccurate, and/or the complete opposite of what the actual situation is.

Diagnosis of a problem also doesn't mean that (1) the problem is doomed to be an Achilles Heel forever, and (2) the problem is not being worked on.

I mean, I'm just sayin', you know. If students can have Continual Assessments of their schoolwork, why can't we Continually Assess our friends as well? Revise our opinions of them, and see how they change?

The reverse is also true: you've ventured out into new area, but are terrified that your friends might think differently of you, so you (not hide, but just) don't tell them about your new fetish for (for example) Dungeons and Dragons.

And just to throw another spanner in the works: what about people who used to judge too quickly, but have now changed for the better? Would we hold them to their previous standard and refuse to believe that they have changed positively?

It's an impasse; who will dare to make the first move? Friendship relationships are different from business relationships; if you can't be vulnerable with your friends for fear of them hurting you, then who will you show your real face to?


(this post is full of questions.)