dimanche, juin 01, 2008 While speaking with a friend late one night, I asked about his to-do list: you know, that list of things to go before you die? I've got a partial list by the side of this blog; places to go, things to do, stuff to see...He didn't have a list. When I expressed surprise and mock-shock at the lack of one, he waxed cynical about how travel was merely "the consumption of someone else's culture," and how he would probably go to the country expecting to see something different, "but I probably wouldn't be surprised at anything there." As I thought that was a very sad statement to make (how can anyone NOT be excited about travelling and seeing a different environment, even if you think it's the same? A toilet in Singapore is different from a toilet in China, or America, or Australia!), I asked what he'd like to do, or what would make him happy. He replied: "Creating. I want to be remembered for things that I leave behind."  The conversation then drifted to the tangible things that he's created - photography, music, random pieces of art, but it got me thinking: I feel a slight disconnect from his desire to leave something behind; his legacy, so to speak. I can understand why people would want to leave behind a legacy, and I do get that it's an immensely unflattering thing to think that your existence on earth will not be remembered by any (after your friends and family pass on), but I'm either ego-less (not true), or I don't care very much for leaving a legacy behind - not at this point in my life, perhaps.I do, however, feel a nagging sense of unease at feeling disconnected from his desire. Is it strange not to want this? Or not to put it as a high priority? After all, one way to leave behind a legacy is simple as getting married and having children. Your progeny (and genes) will live on far beyond you or any form of superficial legacy you could retain on earth beyond your existence. (Of course, this would entail, you know, HAUNTING your progeny to reproduce, so as to continue the bloodline.) The puzzle grows exponentially bigger when I factor in the general discontent and dissatisfaction I feel from many others in similar situations - you know, the quarter-life crisis, the mid-stream feeling. They feel this general annoyance that life seems to be eddying around them, giving them the sense of motion, but essentially going nowhere. Another friend blogged once "I’m doing everything I can short of killing myself through exhaustion to make life existentially meaningful and worth living." (I know you'll read this, and I want to say that I'm not picking on you, just using your statement to illustrate my point.) It is the constant ebb and flow of the ocean without any currents. Christian or not, you need to have something pulling you somewhere for some purpose. It may be money, it may be fame, it may be that next rush you feel after climbing up another mountain - but I think people (especially people in Singapore) need a sense of purpose in life, no matter how shallow. There needs to be somewhere to move towards, some goal to walk forward to. It seems that quite a lot of people don't see the need for that sort of bird's-eye-view for their lives. They're either hiding their heads in the sand (to continue the bird metaphor), or sandbagging (to continue the sand metaphor.) Christ grounds me to an eternal vision, which is why I don't feel this as keenly as those without Jesus in their lives. Ginny Owens sings it true- there's a bigger picture, you can't see; you don't have to change the world just trust in me, I am Your creator and I am working out my plan, and through you, I will show them ... I Am. Not to say, of course, that I remember this all the time. Displacement occurs - I'll think of books and commemorative holidays when I think of "leaving a legacy behind", instead of remembering that "legacy" means something else entirely. But life as a Christian settles me more than others without Jesus (or some other focus) in their lives. Unconditional love, unconditional acceptance all the time, from someone who tells you that he'll never leave nor repudiate you (Heb 13:5). I don't understand why people don't just take the offer up. So what if you think God's just a crutch for us to lean on during our time here on earth? Who has all the answers? Nobody has. So what's so bad about a crutch? This need to be independent (see Adam and Eve) got us the rest of us into a lot of trouble. There's a cost, of course - there's always a cost of doing business - but the payoff: returning to who and what we were meant to be in the first place - beats the odds any day. Libellés : christian, thinking, writing [Focused on the Legacy] |
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